I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
