Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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