All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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