how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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