if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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