Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
