I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
