I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she looked like the before picture.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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