i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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