You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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