doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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