im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Mom said you looked used
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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