Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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