she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
