we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My pussy is not your playground.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
