i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
