I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
