I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
