If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize