god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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