So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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