i was born a porn star she said
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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