Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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