When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
