i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
