He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
