then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
