We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
