ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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