i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
