Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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