Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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