she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
