a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
third nipple confirmed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize