so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Text me some of your sweat
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
