I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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