Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
