Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
