Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
