just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
