I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
