dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
