lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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