and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
