it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
