I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
