So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
