Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
