just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
