He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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