yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize