my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
