This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
