We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
