Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
