come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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