I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
