wat bout pragnant strippers??
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
