I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
