if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize