I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize